What an Obnoxious Falling Down Drunk

Written By: Team Beth - Nov• 18•13

Celebrate!

What an obnoxious falling down drunk woman I once was.

yep.  I’m allergic to alcohol. One drink is like throwing a light switch in my psyche. A mental obsession coupled with a physical compulsion is turned on & there’s no humanly way to turn it off. I craved alcohol physically & mentally.and yet….(drum roll, fireworks, cherry coke & confetti…)

On Nov. 11, 2013 I celebrated 25 years of sobriety.  Giving credit where credit’s due it’s only by Gods grace. There’s no other explanation.

So why did I decide to write about this?

It occurred to me rather than letting those “bad” years go to waste, someone who feels hopeless might find hope in hearing about my life before and seeing my life today.

Now…. I COULD gossip about myself, telling things I remember from those years. I often had “black outs” (which means I didn’t remember what happened) so even if I wanted to tell you everything, I couldn’t. Don’t think I’ll gossip about this ole gal today. Might want to write a book someday! (kidding!)

What I will tell you is this:  I was beyond redemption so it seemed. NOTHING could get me to stop drinking. I was a hopeless case. Yes really. It was that bad. I made amends years ago and have forgiven myself. Yet I still feel deep shame and remorse when the heartache and pain I caused those I love & who love me crosses my mind.

Would welcome a “do over” but they’re not available. So instead I’ll share my experience, strength & hope.

1.  DON’T GIVE UP! Keep trying to quit if you suffer with this “allergy”. Go to AA, pray to the God of your understanding & remember: NO ONE CAN GET SOBER FOR YOU. They say it’s the “first drink” that gets you drunk & they’re right. Abstinence is the only way for us.

A drink             makes                       nothing                   better.                   N O T H I N G

2.  If you know someone in that dark place, tell them to keep trying & DON’T GIVE UP!  Even if you have to “step away” so they don’t drag you down, don’t give up on them. They may yet someday hand you the moon.

3.  Young people: Be wary. Nothing good in the bottom of a bottle and it’s possible you could be allergic to alcohol too. Proceed with great caution. Now I’m going to pop open a cherry coke and celebrate the fact that as of today I have 25 years & 7 days of sobriety. But who’s counting….

Thanks so much for stopping by & hope you enjoy my song

DON’T GIVE UP ON ME (A Drunkards Lament)

Wishing you well Beth

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9 Comments

  1. Tania Stein says:

    Beth,
    Be PROUD of your accomplishment and know that your admission and act of sharing your hurdles, also benefit and encourage many others in your audience. I’ve several family members that have battled and some still fighting the war, against THAT bottle. Thank you for going public on your journey, may this be cathartic for you and others, to help and WIN this war for yourselves and loved ones! I admire your courage and tenacity.
    All the Best, Forever, in your future!
    Lovingly, Tania

  2. Deb Bukala says:

    Beth, that is the most honest song I have ever heard. Surely it will help somebody and with “the holidays” coming and the seasonal drunks coming out of the woodwork, what a great time to post this video. (I worked many a Thanksgiving & Christmas in the hospital lab cross-matching blood to go into drunks I knew by name from years before…) It’s not just a seasonal problem, that piece of my history came to mind while I was listening. You are incredible, giving, & talented. Thanks for baring your soul in this song. love, Deb

  3. Linda Orsak says:

    There is a Bible verse (Joel 2:25) where God tells Israel He will restore the years the locusts have eaten away….He has done that for you, my friend! In a wonderful way.

    But the rest of the story is that you have grabbed on to that restoration and used the talents He has so generously given you in a way that honors Him and your family.

    Sharing this story is a gift to each of us; and a lesson that we need to heed.

    Much love and admiration….

  4. Trina says:

    I really enjoyed that song!! I am having a rough time battling with the fact that I drink too much beer.. I have at least made it to the point of admitting it.. now just have to try to fix it!! you have beautiful voice and the song just pulled me in!!!

    • beth@bethwilliamsmusic.com says:

      Hey there – Thanks so much for your comment. I totally understand your battle. Abstinence one day at a time is the only thing that ever worked for me. There was a time I couldn’t imagine my life without alcohol. Now I can’t imagine, nor do I want a life like that. AA is a wonderful tool to help with changing the way we think and finding a way to not need to rely on beer, wine, etc. Whatever you do, just don’t give up. The solution is there when you’re ready for it. Hugs, Beth

  5. Jalynn Venis says:

    Beth, Maybe you had to go through the highest highs and the lowest lows to create the depth of experience, compassion, understanding and love that makes you the remarkable artist that you are today.
    Your character is above reproach, and your wisdom inspires and delights me. I honor every aspect of your life and love who you are.